What I Love ...

Okay, taking a break from your regularly scheduled program of angst, pain, cancer and sadness ...

What I Love:

a) The crockydiles in Pearls Before Swine

b) My new haircut. Which is to say, my old haircut. Long, with bangs. As opposed to long, with no bangs. Some women can get away with no bangs, showing their smooth foreheads. Alas, I'm am not that woman. I think this makes me look younger. It probably just makes me look like a dork. Ignorance is bliss, baby!

c) Coffee. With cream. And sugar.

d) Finding a new great blog. Like http://www.dooce.com/

e) Reading my favorite blogs. I am such an addict. Blog-writers, y'all are to me, what "Friends" was to the country after 9-11. Terrific escapism, with the added bonus that I occasionally learn sumpin'. On top of that, you are new friends to me.

f) All the Sweet Potato Queens books. And the Sweet Potato Queens messageboards.

g) Learning a new crazy recipe. My friends know that I love giving them recipes that begin, "Okay, I know this sounds bizarre, but it's really good, trust me!" Like this one, for magic milkshakes (no ice cream).

h) Teletubbies. Because it means that I occasionally have time to drink a cup of coffee and write in my blog.

i) Extra paycheck months like this one.

j) Gilmore Girls. Great, great, great dialog. One of the few shows where I can watch an episode more than once. As fast as they speak, it's like a good movie where you pick up on things you missed the first time.

And speaking of comics (see "a", above), I should cut this one out and save it for when my kids are adults. They'll love it. I am this mom.
Rhymes With Orange

Son has been bummed because he and I will be apart on our favorite holiday. This Saturday is April Fool's Day. In my family, in each generation, a fool is born ... One person, in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the strength, skill and power to play pranks on those who love him.

In the generation before me, it was my father. In mine, it was me. And in my children, it is my son.

There are very strict rules about being an April Fool as I explained to Son last year. 1) One prank may be played per person. Continuing to tell your little sister, "Look there's a kangaroo! Look there's a snake!" is not fun for her. 2) When the person calls your bluff "Oh, it's April Fools," you must 'fess up. 3) The joke itself can only last about 5 minutes. Any more, and you're being cruel. And the most important rule:

DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN THEY PRANK YOU BACK. TAKE YOUR JUST DESSERTS.

Last year's prank on my poor long-suffering husband was killer. We had our house up for sale and had just recarpeted the entire house.

Note: a really good April Fool's Prank takes planning and preparation.

A week earlier, I had mixed up some school glue with a little brown paint. I poured it onto a piece of plastic wrap in a puddle and let it dry. Pulled it off the plastic wrap, and put it next to an empty paper coffee cup from our favorite coffee place. On its side. On the brand new carpet.

Learned something interesting: when I wonder if my husband is being passive aggressive when he does something like walk past his dirty socks on the floor 20 times ... no, he's not. He's that oblivious.

He was bringing in some sheets of laminate we were going to put down in our entry later. Walked past the cup and puddle 11 times. Never saw them.

Later, he and I were sitting in the living room talking about this and that. Suddenly, he yells, "Ohhhhmmmmyyyygodddddd" and flings himself across the room, not unlike someone shouting "fire in the hole" and jumping clear of a hand grenade. He had caught sight of the cup and puddle. He scooped it up ... realized it was solid ... realized he'd been pranked ...

... and said something unprintable.

Tee-hee.