There are so many things I need to do ... getting the clothes ready for my other three kids to minimize the chances that The Princess and the Boy can convince their grandma that really, truly, it's okay with Mom if they go to school in a ballerina outfit and ripped old clothes, respectively. Getting our bags all packed. Updating my iPod with the playlist of songs I put together for Little Warrior. Finding batteries for the cheapie speakers for the iPod. (Although, with all the other wires and tubes that will be coming from her, having her wear some earbuds would be pretty cute.) Finding my address book so I can write thank-you notes while we're in the hospital (yeah right). Finding all the stuff for the breast pump, since I won't be nursing her for several days.
But I'm paralyzed. It's taking all of my resources to hold it together and not just sit here bawling.
Okay, LE. You've got a to-do list, above. Stop checking your email every 30 seconds. What, you think you're going to get an email from God saying oops, it was all a mistake, and she doesn't really have cancer? That you've obviously learned all about pain and compassion and friends, so the lesson is over?
It isn't coming. Get off your ass and get moving.