The cardiologist said that the problem with her heart ... which heretofore we had been told was simply because the tumors were squeezing everything up into her chest ... is cardiomyopathy, and not from the tumors. Not related to cancer. Just a little coincidence.
So, now, we are not only parents of a cancer patient, but also parents of a cardiac patient. And it's the same child.
Even when one knows better, one asks the question of the universe, "why is this happening?" Is it because I was greedy? I had three healthy children and I wanted one more?
I want to just feast my eyes on her and enjoy all the happiness I can ... but I cry. I cry because I *am* greedy and I want more than just this one moment.