If You Throw a Pity Party ...

...make sure you have plenty of food and drink.

That was the advice I gave a friend today who is going through a rough patch. And I have another friend, Anne, who hit a low on Monday and is feeling a bit blue.

Before All of This, I LOVED throwing parties. I am a bit famous for them, actually. Or infamous, I guess. You know the party scene in "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? That's always been my goal. But with more food, because I am a cook and a foodie.

Well, four kids later, our parties are similar to the scene, if you threw in about 1.5 children for every adult couple. Lots of sinful food, and a few non-sinful items for my vegan friends. Someone on the back deck playing guitar, kids up in the playroom wreaking havoc, pockets of great conversation all over, food and drink everywhere. And by about 9:30 pm, me somewhere teaching everyone how to do chocolate cake shots.

So, why should a pity party be any different? Of course, there's no need for guests, this is a party for one.

Necessary items for a pity party:

a) Dress: dress is beyond casual. Only the most comfy jammies will do. Barring that, then super soft sweats, or faded, loose shorts and a big tshirt.

b) Food: first, there must be something salty. And something sweet. Something creamy. Something crunchy. There we go, your four food groups. The sweet should, of course, be chocolate. Or, you can have chocolate as an adjunct, and have something else filling the sweet role.

c) Drink: A really good red wine. Or a dark beer, the better to go with chocolate. Now that I think about it, in college, some friends and I (after much testing) decided that the perfect snack was dutch chocolate ice cream, bavarian style pretzels and Shiner Bock. Ooh, looka that. Salty, sweet, creamy, crunchy and chocolate in only 3 items. Wait, how did I get back on food?

If one is not allowed to drink alcohol because a) it interferes with the anti-depressants, b) because it interferes with chemo, c) it comes through breastmilk and interferes with your baby's chemo or d) the court-mandated breathalyzer test you must take every hour, then one should drink either a) an egg cream, b) a real non-diet Coke or c) a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling cider.

d) Entertainment: There are two schools of thought on this. One avenue to explore is that of really depressing movies. Sob along with Steel Magnolias, Beaches, Terms of Endearment, etc.

The other school of thought says who wants more tears? Rent something either really funny or really bad, or a combination of the two.

Happy Festivities!