Friday, April 11, 2008

Wallowing over

Thank you, my dear friends. I know that you have cried with me. "How can I blog about this, this time?" I asked The Husband. "Last time, it was shouting into the wilderness. But now, I know these people."

And they're in it with you, he said. And they'd want to know. Keep writing. Because someone may find it, and it might help.

I have had my wallow; my eyes are swollen. I may come back to Wallow Town occasionally, but it is Time To Move On.

The woods are lovely dark and deep. It is tempting to stay here, hugging LW, futily searching the internet for a story of someone where this Exact Same Thing happened, and it all turned out to be nothing, thinking of the what-ifs and whys and how life isn't fair.

But I have promises to keep. Intro to Lib RE homework due this morning, hymns to choose, an RE plan for the fall to draft, 2 term papers to write, speakers to schedule. Obladi oblada, life goes on.

And miles to go ...

7 comments:

uuMomma said...

You have a very wise husband. Thank you for your honesty--all of it. I will hold you all in my thoughts these coming days, weeks, and on.

Terri Dennehy Pahucki said...

"And they're in it with you"

Amen.

Still holding you and your family close in my heart.

karen said...

Even those of us you don't know - I'm holding you and your Little Warrior and the rest of your family in my thoughts.

Timna said...

Even those of us that have been lurking for months are in it with you...you are all in my thoughts.

ali said...

Going back to your worries about the older kids from an previous post... You wrote: "This is changing who they are. IT IS CHANGING THE PEOPLE THEY ARE AND THE PEOPLE THEY WILL BECOME."

And Octavia Butler wrote:

"All that you touch
You Change.

All that you Change
Changes you.

The only lasting truth
Is Change.

God
Is Change."

That this experience is changing them is NOT a horrible thing. Change is not bad. Change can be good.

And though this might not be the childhood you had envisioned for them, it is the childhood that they have. And though they doubtlessly see/feel the fog of worry that has creeped back into your lives, they also see/feel the love of family and a healthy approach to life's struggles (the rest of us will vouch for the healthfulness of your approach, even if you can't see it now). They see/feel the support of a religious community that gives them (and their mom) something something to hang onto and fall back on.

The short of it is that in amidst the fog, they have a good childhood, a solid childhood, a childhood upon which a good life almost certainly will be built.

As fo you, dear LE, hang in there and know that we are holding you tightly in our hearts.

Nancy said...

I am thinking of you. Please keep us updated. I learn so much from you in my own little struggles.

Lunasea said...

Thank you for letting us follow your story. My heart and prayers are with you and LW.