Abortion, science, philosophy and luck

"A WOMAN is pregnant with Britain's first designer baby selected to prevent an inherited cancer, a newspaper in Britain has reported."

Story: http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,19124612%255E663,00.html

The reason why I keep this blog anonymous has less to do with anyone I know finding it and more to do with the fact that it is really important to me that I can be scrupulously honest here. If I knew that anyone who knows me was reading this, I just know myself -- it would affect what I admit to feeling, what I write.

So, let's dive in to being scrupulously honest.

I am pro-choice, at least in the abstract, which is what being "pro-choice" is about. It isn't about being pro-abortion. It's about being willing to say, hey, I don't know everything, so I don't feel that I should be allowed to affect the choice here of other women. It's up to them. Pro-choice.

I am blessed that I have never had to make that choice.

We were prepared to, and had a couple of scares during pregnancies, waiting for tests to come back.

My godmother had a daughter who lived to be 55. She was severely retarded, blind, physically disabled. She lived in a hospital most of her life. My godmother loved her dearly but admitted that had she known ahead of time, knowing what she knows know, she would have terminated the pregnancy. Because of that, The Husband and I had said that if we had to make that choice, we would terminate. We didn't want to bring a soul into the world trapped in such an existence.

Thankfully, we never had that choice.

So, here's the deal ...

Knowing what I know now, if I had known that Little Warrior would be diagnosed with cancer by 7 months, would I have terminated the pregnancy?

Absolutely not. Every day I get with her is a gift. Not to mention, this will hopefully be curable.

But here's the rub:

If I did NOT know what I know now, and I was told that the fetus I was carrying would be diagnosed with cancer at only 7 months, would I have ended the pregnancy?

I just can't answer that. I just don't know. It would have seemed so overwhelming. I just don't know.

Except to say, in this case ... I'm glad I didn't know. Zealots on either side of this debate want us to believe that it's a simple thing. It's murder, it's a clinical procedure, it's a sin, it's a necessary choice.

Truth is, there's nothing simple about it. Nothing simple about the above article, either.