Saturday, July 26, 2008

Just skip this post. It's depressing.

Another hard week in Wilms' world.

LW had a full week, but nothing bad. Met with the dentist Wed, followup appt with radiation on Thursday at one hospital, ran back to our regular hospital after that for chemo. Literally ran back. Couldn't get parking at the radiation hospital, so we parked at regular hospital, ran to radiation hospital, had appointment, ran back to regular hospital. Personally, I think that should have been worth triple the calorie points, but no one asked me.

Wound up going in for surgery Friday. Not literal surgery -- just dental work, but between being 3 years old and the inherent dangers in a cancer kid having dental work performed, it's all done in the OR under anesthesia.

Busy, but nothing bad.

Not so for several cancer friends of ours. One, a beautiful, spunky teen, registered with hospice ... "just in case." Another beautiful young woman, now in college after having gone through a relapse, stem cell transplant and more ... relapsed again. Her doctor is not hopeful.

And another has gone home. For what is probably the last time.

This is the "good cancer." The cancer that "if you have to have cancer, this is the one to have."

It is hard, at times like this, to be hopeful. I know, logically, that our chances are very good. Statistics and all that.

But times like this, it seems like the biggest fantasy, the craziest miracle, to believe that your child will be one who survives. Not when you see beautiful, sweet children, smart kids, who don't.

When you enter Cancer World, one of the first things you'll be told by an oncologist is this: Statistics don't mean anything. Either your child survives, or she doesn't. Period.

Too many don't.

But still ... I take a deep breath and choose Hope. Because the two young women ... they are both spirited, emotionally strong, and describe themselves as fighters. Some of those with cancer, whose chances seem so low, wind up beating this beast. So why not them.

And Little Warrior ... right now, she's watching Tigger and Pooh. And earlier, she was singing "Brown Eyed Girl" with me. Sha la la la la la la ti da, la tee da.

So why not her.

1 comment:

plaidshoes said...

I imagine the most you can do is continue to hope and move forward. It is just so heartbreaking. I am glad to hear, though, that LW is handling things so well. I am sure it has a lot to do with your strength. I always say a little prayer for her at night. She is often in my thoughts. I hope next week goes much smoother.