"A sign. I understand. I believe in signs, too." -- Frances, Under the Tuscan Sun
I don't, actually. I used to. Now I see them more as a confirmation of what we want to see, or what our higher self wants us to see. So, maybe I do believe in signs. Take it as it is.
(The best thing ever said about signs, in my twisted opinion, is a comic strip, run last year, of Pearls Before Swine.)
I wish I could link to it, but I can't, so I'll be annoying and read it to you.
Two crockydiles find a dead animal in the street. "Bob! Bob! Look at dis!"
"What ees it Floyd?"
"Ees pre-killed aneemal! Ees third one me find here dis week!"
"What does dis mean, Floyd?!"
"It mean God love us, Bob!"
"Of course he do! He know we have trubble catch food, so he give us some alreddy ded!"
"God muss have beeeg plan foh us, Floyd! God muss have beeg plan!!"
Frame: headlights on crockydiles. HONK HONK HOOOOONK
Last Frame: The two crockydiles are sitting in hell, surrounded by flames. One says to the other:
"Dis not plan me have in mind, Floyd."
In any case, the part of my self that wanted to see signs reflecting on my decision to go back to seminary had much to choose from today. Last year, I planted two gardenia bushes on either side of my front door. Like many plants, they won't flower the first year. I went out today, and saw my very first gardenia. Looked closer -- both bushes are covered in blooms.
That's a nice sign.
Went to the Y this morning to do my laps. The Lizard Eater, lizard-ino, doing my laps, listening to my iPod. About halfway through a great acoustic version of Howard Jones' No One is to Blame, the words struck me. "Her" is, of course, seminary. Or the ministry.
You can see the summit but you can't reach it
It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
Hey, I didn't say it was a burning bush.
In any case, it spoke to me. But I also have enough of a sense of humor to laugh out loud when the next song is Lithium:
I'm so happy. Cause today I found my friends.
They're in my head. I'm so ugly. But that's ok.
'Cause so are you. We've broke our mirrors.
Sunday morning. Is everyday for all I care.
And I'm not scared. Light my candles. In a daze cause I've found god.