Thursday, May 08, 2008

Last Normal Night

Well, the echocardiogram went well, so we are cleared for takeoff. Tomorrow, 8 am, radiation simulation. Monday, we start radiation for real. Tomorrow, 10 am, the first dose of doxorubicin. Tomorrow, chemo starts for real.

Tonight, I can brush her hair and not scrutinize my brush.
Tonight, I can let her go where she wants, and not follow with a bowl.
Tonight, I have no need to feel her forehead.

When I tell myself, hey, it's just for 6 months, I'm okay. Except that I can't, because we have no idea what's going to happen. And then the worms come and I ask, will we ever come back to normal? What if, what if. What if I should be videotaping her right now, with pink cheeks and full hair because we won't see that again?

Damn worms.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thinking of you all, today