...was what they told my daddy when he was a little boy in Sunday School. I just wish I knew what "the right thing" is.
We met with the doc from Prestigious Cancer Hospital today. His plan was dramatically less aggressive, and he had good reasons for it. The Husband and I walked out thinking, hey, this is the way to go.
But I stewed and stewed and researched and researched all day. Because if we choose wrong ...
So, I'm using this space to dump my brain. Feel free to ignore and come back another day when I'm, I don't know, posting recipes or something.
Big Children's Hospital: where we've been treated the last two years. We like 'em.
Plan: Radiation + high powered chemo. Doxorubicin, Vincristine, Cytoxan, Etoposide. Chemo every week in the office, then every third week, chemo in the hospital, for 3 -5 days.
The Big Risk: Etoposide can, in rare cases, cause leukemia. And she could relapse.
Doctor: Very experienced with Wilms' Tumor. Very familiar with her case.
Prestigious Cancer Hospital: where LE's Big Brother is a Big Poohbah. (But not a doctor.) We'd be treated like royalty there.
Plan: Radiation + less aggressive chemo, including 2 she's already received. Doxorubicin, Vincristine, Dactinomycin. Chemo every week in office, no hospitalizations.
The Big Risk: Not high powered enough. And she's already taken 2 of them. She could relapse.
Doctor: Very experienced with pediatric cancer. Not very familiar with her case yet.
I'm leaning toward Big Children's Hospital. The doctor talked to The Husband for half an hour today, explaining every step of his decision-making. It all seemed very well-thought-out.
"I wish one of the doctors were a mustache-twirling villain," I told BFF-DRE. "Then we'd know."
But they're both good people, good doctors.
For me, it comes down to: Big Children's Hospital Doctor knows the most about Wilms'. And knows the most about LW.
For The Husband, it comes down to: if the results were bad, which choice, had I made it, would allow me to live with myself?
We agreed ... in that situation, if we had chosen to go with Prestigious Cancer Hospital and it went south, we'd feel that we had chosen wrongly, that we'd wimped out.
With the other choice, we'd feel that given the information we had at the time, we made the best decision we knew to make.
Decision feels mostly made. But we're going to call Big Children's doc and ask him his thoughts about the risk of secondary leukemia in the morning.
Spirit of Life, come unto me ...
And bring wisdom. Please.