The thing about vacations is, if you do them right, they're really a vacation from reality, aren't they? Well, for us, it was pretty dramatic. One week, we're at the hospital, getting surgery to remove her port, then 5 days later, we leave for a 2 week vacation. No doctors! No hospitals! No cancer!
Well, I'm trying to go through my billion emails. I'm on a list of parents whose children have been diagnosed with Wilms. You develop some real relationships with these people, the only ones who can truly understand what you're going through. They know the chemos, they know the protocols. They know the side-effects.
They know the reality.
And sometimes, the reality isn't good. While we were gone, one of the dear ones I've gotten to know, a six-year old cutie pie named Diego, passed away. And another relapsed.
My mother can't understand why I follow these stories. She can't understand how you can have a relationship with someone you've never met. (She doesn't "do" computers, let alone internet.) She doesn't understand why I would want to follow their stories, now that Little Warrior is in remission. She doesn't understand that my heart is already with these families, that I am humbled by their journeys, and that I feel a responsibility to witness what they travel.
But I will have to limit how many I allow myself to be involved with.
Otherwise, it will eat me up.