In order to not see God as a capricious, mean being, I had to let go of my vision of a personally-involved God.
Ironically, it was not because LW got cancer that I was forced to that realization. It was because of the successes with the surgery, and the (hopefully) success against the cancer.
What sort of an egotist would I be, to say that the reason she got well is because of the prayers she received? When I am familiar with so many others who get even more prayers, but die?
People say that the big question of religion is "why does God permit suffering?"
I don't think so.
It's "why does God permit indiscriminate suffering?"
I sometimes wish that I could choose the blue pill. ("Matrix.") But I didn't, and I can't.