Friday, July 09, 2004

The Call

Okay, so what I didn't put in my GA2004 blog was pretty significant. That GA2004 was a literal, life-changing experience. I stopped fighting and struggling against the call of ministry and accepted it.

It was scary. I've fought this for years -- I have three small children, ministry was just NOT in my plans. But there I was at GA 2004, listening to the Service of the Living Tradition, watching all of those ministers celebrate special moments in their journeys. And sitting there, alone, (I was several rows away from anyone) in the dark, I was prompted with the question from inside (or perhaps, outside), "Will you be a minister? You don't have to say how or when, but will you be a Unitarian Universalist minister? Do you accept?" And out loud, I said, "Yes." Just to see how it would sound. I said Yes, and tears began pouring down my cheeks. It felt inevitable but oh so scary. I straightened myself up and three minutes later, Rev. Rosemary McNatt got up to speak. "Where were you ... when you stopped fighting ... and said 'Yes, I want to be a minister.'" Well, then the tears really poured. I didn't feel happy. I felt scared to death.

The next day, I went to my GA covenant group and at check-in, told them what had transpired. Again, I began crying. I was as soggy as a sponge by now. Our facilitator, Margaret, waved a piece of paper at me. "I just want you to know, this was already chosen. I'm not making it up on the fly." She then read it ... "What is your calling and when did you accept it?" At this point I waved my hand to the heavens and said, "Okay, already, I see you've decided to throw subtlety out the window!" Well, not surprising that God/the Universe would do so. As The Husband could have explained, I am frightfully hard-headed when it comes to following destiny. He should know.

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