Monday, August 27, 2007

I'm buying "The Rules"

Prepare to scream, but I stand my ground.

I'm buying it for a young woman friend of mine. Now, I was already well-married when the book came out, and like most everyone of our (liberal, feminist) type, I thought the whole idea was horrible.

Well, a few years ago, I saw it in a friend's bookcase, and picked it up. And read it. And agreed with most of it.

Not all of it. Some is just manipulative. Don't call back, even if he leaves you a message? Pah.

But a whole lot of it made a lot of sense. It was the stuff Mama told you in high school, that you didn't want to hear. Don't chase after boys. Don't be so convenient. If a boy calls you Saturday afternoon for a date Saturday night, say no. "If you would just spend as much time on your schoolwork as you do thinking about boys ..."

Now ... if they would just change the title to "The Rules -- How to Maintain Your Individuality and Keep Your Self-Respect" -- everyone would like it.

Except the playas.


jacqueline said...

It is like the book "He's Just Not That Into You". Although some might take it as drivel if I could make my daughter memorize and believe most of it I would feel like she is prepared to deal with the upcoming men in her life. It was the advice I wish my mom had given me.

hafidha sofia said...

I never read this book The Rules. I think what's more important than rules is, as you say, having self-respect. If you try to follow the rules without having that, I'm not sure what it will do for you.

Comrade Kevin said...

Having read this, I am almost compelled to write the book that teaches young men how to properly discern the social games that women play, particularly with dating.

Men and women are taught to look at the world in vastly different ways. Persistence, for example, is a trait bred into men. So what can come across as assertive to a male can seem stalker-ish to a female.

Passive-Aggressive behavior was never encouraged amongst the males in my family--where the men were supposed to be go-getters. Thus, I found it utterly foreign and deceptive when confronted with it during my teenage years.

There might be some virtue in maintaining these strict roles, but I argue that they shouldn't exist unless both sexes are equally versed in how to correct decipher them.

I think, and this is just my opinion, that if we ceased to place such a premium upon these gender roles that there'd be a lot less confusion, hurt, and pain between both sexes.