Tuesday, August 14, 2007

2nd Day

It is COLD here in the morning, before the sun comes over the mountains. The sun is overhead now and I’ve stripped down to a tee and shorts but this morning I was contemplating building a fire in the fireplace.

The Husband went fishing this morning, but it takes a little time to transition from salt-water fishing to shallow-river fishing. He’s fishing with hooks and salmon eggs and lost a whole lot of both on the rocks. We headed to town to get a green chile burger my mother raved about (it was okay, but the poblano cream chowder was FAB) and picked up some more hooks. While there, we ran into my parents who came up today. Their cabin is about 200 yards from ours, which is probably perfect.

While at the café, there was a table near ours with 2 grandparently-type couples. They kept looking over at us, in a friendly way (ours were on good behavior) and finally one of the gentlemen explained that they raised 4, too – all girls. After seeing us do all the normal family stuff – help this one cut up her lunch, take these two to the restroom – they had such cheerful countenances that their thoughts were a cinch to read – Glad we’re done with that phase!

I’m excited right now because I found the perfect place for my kids and my father (bum knee) to go fishing. Here in the mountains, so many of the places with access to the river require a bit of climbing down. But this is a wide flat place that goes right up to the water. I talked to our landlady and she said it’s not private property, so we can use it. Booyah.

7:55 pm

Well, my parents love this place as much as we do – don’t you love it when that happens? – and we are all oohing and aahing at the thought of coming here next summer with my brother, his wife, and my sister.

The kids, Husband and I went and scoped out the fishing spot. Buncha teenagers there this afternoon, but it should be good in the morning. In addition to being nice and flat, there’s some nice “holes” that we just know trout are hanging out in. And across the river, there’s a little waterfall. Just to give us something else beautiful to look at.

I’ve mentioned we’re in New Mexico, right? How about this for a state slogan – “It’s not just desert!” Of course, then they’d have to replace their current slogan – “Really, we’re part of the United States!”

Dinner was out on the deck again tonight. Sun went over the mountain at 5:42, making it nice and cool. Mom had made roast beef, so we had cold roast beef sandwiches, some cheap-but-good Red from Sam’s, and the cheese from last night. My parents both looked so pleased and relaxed. Nice. We got into an interesting conversation about marital hard times. None of us have ever threatened divorce, because all of us have known people who talked all about it and wound up getting one. Maybe there’s something about making it an option, we muse.

Not surprisingly, their hardest time was after my brother committed suicide. My dad just couldn’t talk about it. The two of them couldn’t talk at all. Interestingly, it was at that time that they did more together than ever – dance lessons, going to dinner parties. Stuff unusual for them.

The Husband and I had just a touch of that – but at least we could talk about the fact that we couldn’t talk about what all was going on with Little Warrior. I remember telling The Husband, “I think we’ve got a great partnership, but I don’t feel we have a marriage going on.” Thankfully, he didn’t give me false reassurance. He gave me honesty. He agreed. So my feelings were vindicated, the problem was identified, and we could take steps to fix it.

I don’t know how my parents got through it, effectively without each other. Part of it was me – nothing personal, just that they had a kid they had to raise.

And here they are – coming up on 56 years of marriage. Still crazy about each other, even if they get in the same exact fights they have for the last 56 years. A few years ago, I told them that the key to their marriage was, “If it works broke, don’t fix it.” I was mocking them; they took it as a compliment and have repeated it with pride many times.

Still and all … 56 years.

If it works …

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