Monday, July 17, 2006

Smack in the middle between Hope and Despair

That's where I'd be, if you could Frappr an emotional state.

One one hand, hope. I've spent most of the day (when I'm not chasing Little Warrior around) doing mounds of laundry, trying to come up with 5 piles of 5 days of perfectly matched casual outfits for our trip.

The Husband is on his own.

And emailing my friends who are going ... who is bringing a blender? A food processor? A coffee grinder? And playing a few songs on my guitar so that in the off-chance we can fit my guitar in, I'll have calluses.

Meanwhile, The Husband tracked down the radiologist to see what the sitch is with Little Warrior's port.

(Momentary veer of topic: my Mom called today and said, "Have you heard about the port?" I was busy with laundry and thought she was calling (as she and my dad often do) to let me know about something happening on the news. Thoughts immediately went to an American port being blown up by terrorists. It took a couple of seconds to sort out the conversation.)

So, The Husband talks to the radiologist, who says that he can't tell us anything, it needs to come from the oncologist. The Husband explains that he just wants to know about the port. No real information either way.

So, in amongst packing for a trip, I am worrying that tomorrow, we'll find out that we're not taking a trip because they've found something bad, and we're going to have to jump back into the terror and fear and horribleness that has been the last 6 months.

Talk about terrorists.

1 comment:

Boobless Brigade Master said...

Oh my goodness. It just seems never-ending at times doesn't it!
(((Little Warrior))) <~ Hugs for her!
If they don't take the port out of her yet, has anyone ever considered having her on the tiniest amount possible of coumadin? This is what my Oncologist does on a regular basis to help keep any blockage or blood clots from forming. Granted, I still had to have my port flushed once every six weeks for the same reason, just as a percaution...but she really believes that a little coumadin helps significantly.
And of course any amount of coumadin, no matter how small, leaves a bruise like one was whacked with a tire iron when in reality they were only "flicked" by a six year old...but what can ya do.
Hope it all gets resolved just in time for you all to go on your vacation and give your brains a break from thinking about anything cancer related!