Friday, March 14, 2008

Just Because He Doesn't Read the Pregnancy Books

doesn't mean he won't be a good father.

Vicki Iovine in her Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy says something similar, and she's right, about that.

The Husband and I just watched Knocked Up which brought up some weird realizations -- Oh My God, I will never pee on a test stick again! That phase of my life is gone! I am effectively middle-aged!

And some memories. Lizard Eater narrows her eyes at the hapless Husband. You never read the pregnancy books. "I did, a bit," he protests. Not when I was pregnant with our first. "That's true," he admits.

They say that there is labor-amnesia, that a woman can't remember the pain of labor. Apparently there is Father-Pregnancy-Amnesia ... The Husband swears that he can't remember what he was thinking or feeling during our first pregnancy.

I think he's lying, but my waterboard is being borrowed by the U.S. government at the moment.

So here's the deal ... we had been married 5 years, the pregnancy was completely and utterly planned ... no matter. It's still a Big Huge Shock to both.

I distinctly remember explaining to him that because of his indifference, that he would not be in the delivery room with me, that I would get someone else.

I can't even remember why. He was great with the appointments -- with my first pregnancy, he was there at every one. Afterwards, we'd go shop for maternity clothes, or baby furniture, or something else adorable.

And he was fine with childbirth classes. So what was it? Hmmm. I think it was those GD books. The guy who read about absolutely anything, would not read a single sentence about babies or pregnancy or childbirth. I don't know why. He says he doesn't know why, either.

I know that until they were born, he never felt that he had anything to do with their cause. When I was preggo up with #2 ... or was it #3? I asked him, "So, when I'm pregnant, do you feel kind of macho? You know, (Brooklyn tough guy accent), "Ey, I knocked up my woman."

He looked at me blankly. And it was then that I realized, and I said to him -- You don't really think you had anything to do with it?

He smiled sheepishly. You think that the great god Thor came down and caused this. He grinned wider.

In any case ... 4 kids later, I am here to tell you that he's the finest father on earth. He's there at the father-daughter dance and picking up from Girl Scouts and taking The Boy for haircuts. He makes their lunches every morning. He's putting LW to bed as we speak, as he does every single night. When he comes home, 4 little people run to the door shouting, "Daddy's home!" And one big person.

Just because we're different, doesn't mean one's wrong. Vive la difference!


Comrade Kevin said...

We do not have to think alike to love alike.- Francis David

Nancy said...

After two miscarriages, I threw away the Girlfriend's Guide, which began to annoy the dickens out of me, and now I have given away my What to Expect ones because, well...the stupid books don't apply to us!

Guys are funny about pregnancy. Brian was great, too, except for the naming the baby part, when he scared the crap out me by suggesting we name our son Jubal Sackett. I thought perhaps telling him to look in literature for ideas was a good idea. I was so wrong.

You have a good guy there. But you knew that.