Monday, August 17, 2009


I have been thinking about weddings, since The Husband and I are about to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary.

I believe in marriage. I believe in weddings. Warts and all.

Whenever I talk to someone who is about to get married, I give them the following advice: The week before the wedding, no matter what happens, say, "You know, in some cultures, this is considered good luck!"

They usually give me a confused, bewildered look and say something like, "Uh, okay."

After the wedding, they thank me. Always.

Because things happen. That's just how it works. In our case:

* my car had a blowout as I drove home with my altered wedding dress
* our rings BROKE during the sizing
* I got in a big fight with my brother the morning before my wedding, inadvertently insulting his girlfriend in an effort to deliver a crude, withering comment about him
* a giant cockroach crawled across the front of the sanctuary during the ceremony

"In some cultures, this is considered good luck."

Our wedding was chockful of things significant to the two of us. His stepmother lit the chalice. His stepfather, a Methodist minister, officiated. His father and mother walked him down the aisle, my parents walked me down the aisle. "Who gives these two in marriage?" asked Rev. Stepfather. "We do," said all of our parents. If we were two 40 year olds, that might be strange, but we were 21 and 22, going from our parents' houses to our own. It was appropriate. They were giving us to each other.

We took communion, important to The Husband at that time. My father read Walt Whitman. The Husband stomped on the wine glass.

We turned to our family and friends. The Husband pulled two pairs of matching "Just Married" sunglasses from his suit and we recessed to "Here Comes the Sun."

We could not have known what life would have in store for us, these 19 years, as we cannot know the future 19 years. That's as it should be, and part of the reason I teared up watching the below video. You can't know what's in store. Celebrate your innocence, your joy.

Above all, celebrate.


Kari said...

Oh! Good, wise words! Happy Blessings on many, many more years together.

Earthbound Spirit said...

Joy to you on your anniversary - and all good wishes for many more years together! Marriage IS a good thing.

RevCindi said...

Happy Anniversary!

uumomma said...

We were a little bit older when we got married, but will celebrate 19 in November. My story is to tell people about my veil getting caught on a thorny bush along the walkway to my almost-husband. My faather did the officiating and when I whispered (out of the side of my mouth) "my veil" he thought I'd said "let's bail." My mother saw what was happening and jumped up and gave the veil a great big tug (as the music started to run out--no live musicians for us!). Unfortunately, the thorny bush won: the veil plus head piece flew off my head. I was wed with a great big hair dent. But laughed. As did everyone else. Stuff happens. And it is either good luck or just plain life. Best wishes to you and your husband.

Kristina said...

When we got married, I said "for better and for worse, in sickness and in health" and I meant every word; of course, I had no idea what I was talking about. Does anyone? And yet, we are approaching our 10th anniversary, older and hopefully a bit wiser.

Happy anniversary, dear woman. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.