Thursday, December 14, 2006

Christmas Pressure

I don't go in for the stereotypical mommy-Christmas-pressure ... "I must do a million things to make this the Best. Christmas. Ever!!!!" I learned early on that as long as they get a cool toy, get to watch Christmas shows with Mom and Dad and decorate a tree, anything else for my kids is gravy. What do they care if we don't have a "theme tree"? They want the ornaments they made in kindergarten on the tree.

But I will admit to having a bit of personal pressure. "Must-Enjoy-Every-Minute!"

See, I saw my parents lose a child. After my brother died, Christmas was never the same. They tried, they went through the motions, but it wasn't the same.

So, selfishly, I can't help that little voice in the back of my head (worm) that whispers ... "This might be your last Christmas with Little Warrior."

Some day, this will get easier. Or it won't, but I'll be used to it.

I'm so very grateful for what I have.

But ignorance and innocence were nice, too.

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