Thursday, May 27, 2010

Choosing Where to Look

A friend of mine, Stoic Joy, and his wife, Mrs. Joy, take walks on the same trail I do.  Last week, he told me, "We saw a big snake there last week."

I blanched.

"It was in the woods," he added comfortingly.

I don't know if I'd call it a phobia, but I am veddy veddy scared of snakes.  I grew up in snake-infested woods and had too many times of taking dogs and cats to the vet, swelled up to three times their normal size, due to copperheads and cottonmouths.  (Incidentally, don't bother taking your cat.  Unless things have changed, there is no anti-venin they can give that's more effective than the cat's own natural anti-venin.)

But I love this trail and in a short time, have become mightly dependent on it for my spiritual needs.  "I'll just keep my eyes on the path," I told myself.  "And not look into the woods for now."  So, I went on my soul walk, listening to Jennifer Warnes' cover of Leonard Cohen's If It Be Your Will, gifted to me by the Hysteric Cleric.

(The best gift you can give me is a mix CD with songs that are spiritually or emotionally significant to you.  I think it's the adult version of pricking our fingers and becoming blood brothers.)

I had a bit to think about.  I am just thrilled, thrilled, thrilled in my life right now, convinced I'm where I'm supposed to be, in the time I'm supposed to be.  And ... yesterday I got a call.  Next week, I have to go in for a repeat mammogram.  A little sumpin' suspicious on my left side.

No need to comfort me, I'm fine.  There's many things it could be, and this is way too early to worry.

I'll just keep my eyes on the path, and not look into the woods for now.


Anonymous said...

Hi LE,

Just a thought: don't wear aluminum-containing antiperspirant for, like, two days ahead of time, and scrub like heck. (Simple deoderant is fine.) I had a double-look-see just like that a few years ago. Aluminium AP can really interfere with mammos.

Hoping for the best for you, and keeping you in my thoughts,

Charlie Talbert said...

Joan Arden's version of If It Be Your Will is also soulful.

hysteric cleric said...

I'm glad you liked the music - AFAIAC, "If It Be Your Will" captures
the heart of spiritual wisdom, and deserves to be remembered alongside
the Serenity Prayer & the Prayer of St. Francis as one of the great
spiritual expressions of western culture. I have occasionally sang the
second verse to God, in my head, during the Silent Prayer moment
before the sermon I'm about to preach.

@Charlie: Was not familiar w/ the Joan Arden version; I'll look for that

I'm praying the mammogram is nothing to worry about. Of course, I'm also worrying about it like crazy, but just chalk that up to me
managing my own anxiety. I'm glad you're not worried.

kimc said...

Most of those "let's take another look" mammograms turn out to be nothing. Hoping yours is that type.
My favorite version of "If it Be Your Will" is by Antony.
Leonard Cohen is such a great song-writer/poet.