Thursday, March 19, 2009


A friend of mine is getting married this weekend. Actually, I should say two friends, since his fiancee is now also a friend.

They are both glowing.

On the subject of marriage, I have said more than once that I am against marriage, unless you just HAVE to.

I don't mean you or your intended are pregnant. Or looking for a green card. Or any of the other eminently logical reasons to get married.

The Husband and I got married at ages 21 and 22, because we just had to. No logical reason; we were both still in college so actually, it went against reason. But there was something in us ... we just had to.

I guess, for me, marriage is like having babies. Truly, I see little logical reason for either. But both things, I just had to do. It was just a force inside, the heart wanting what the heart wants.

Oh, I know there are logical reasons for marriage. But to me, the most important part is the non-logical part. The part that, nearly 19 years after setting sail on this marriage of adventure, I still can't explain.

I guess it's not really the legal aspect of getting married -- to me, that's just a byproduct, the easy part. (Sigh ... but not for everyone.) But making the decision to pledge to be together for the rest of your life ... whew. That's big.

For my two friends, this is not their first marriage. They've each been married before, each raised children and seen them leave to begin their adult lives.

There is such joy that they take in each other. On his facebook page, along with other favorite activities, he lists "loving Sasha."

It makes my heart swell for both of them.

I don't believe in marriage. Except for when I really do.

1 comment:

kim said...

I got married for the first time a week before my 49th birthday. I waited until I was sure. I had said for years that I never want to go through a divorce.
So, I know what you mean.
In a couple of weeks is our 10th anniversary. We're a good pair.