Completely Random Bits

* I think that all top hospital executives should have to take a shower in a patient bathroom.

* LW is doing well -- the anesthesia seems out of her system. She watched a whole movie this morning and even talked a little bit.

* Everything is hinging on her passing gas. Once she passes gas, she can have a little juice. After the juice stays down, some food. After the food stays down, they can remove her epidural. After the epidural comes out, they can remove the catheter. After the catheter, the kidney drain. But everything is waiting on ... a fart.

* How do you explain to an almost three year old why this is happening? It's not like I can say, "Remember how you felt bad? We came here to make you better." She felt fine and was running around like a maniac the day before we came to the hospital. I'm trying to talk her through this, but I don't know if it's making any sense to her.

* I'm worried about ... church. We like to say, Oh, Don't Worry About That. You just put your attention on your family. But there isn't some magic that we can swirl around and put everthing else on "Freeze." I still have a term paper to write and I'm very concerned that the work I've put into Worship might backslide. Not in terms of the committee -- they're great. But in terms of getting speakers. The DRE-BFF is at a conference right now. She has my schedule and has been charged with getting some great speakers into the pulpit. Our congregation is on this upswing in energy and we *need* dynamic preachers in the pulpit to keep it going. Momentum, momentum ...

* And of course I'm worried about LW. My brother works for a Prominent Cancer Hospital and I think that he talked to every single doctor there yesterday about this "blood blister thing." No one had ever heard/seen of anything like that.

If it winds up being malignant, then they have to treat for tumor spillage. The only way to do that is with radiation. In addition to the risks that radiation brings -- other cancers, infertility, etc. -- it will mean that we can't do the chemo that is planned, because one doesn't combine well with radiation.

Oh the mind ... race, race, race ...

You can think that you've gotten to a certain level of philosophy, only to find yourself caught off-guard, realizing that you still have little pockets of unhelpful-belief that you thought you were done with. Your mind wanders and you find yourself thinking, "Well, I have all these things that I'm planning, things that could really have an effect on making the world a little bit better place, but I can't do them if I have to drop everything and focus on cancer, so surely God will take that into consideration ..."

And then you snap your head up and say, Whaaaat? But I don't believe that. I don't believe that God is controlling whether or now LW has cancer ...

Little pockets. Kind of like tumor spillage, you just don't know where those thoughts might be hiding ...