"Historical" Jesus

Also from last night ...

Other: went off on a vent last night to Husband about the utter lack of logic that some of these students are willing to interject into their theology. I'm not talking Unitarian-type logic. I'm talking within the bounds of the Bible. To whit: I was in a group last night with two guys (incl the one who wanted my notes) and we were to write up our beliefs on the historical Jesus. The characters in this were The Pastor, The Islander (I don't know where he's from) and me, The Heretic.

The Heretic: Okay, so we need to write up our beliefs [I'm playing good Christian girl, of course] about the historical Jesus. Let's start pre-birth.

The Pastor: Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

Heretic: Well, this is supposed to be on the *historical* Jesus.

blank look

Heretic: You know, the "historical" Jesus we've been reading about. That which we have some sort of record for.

The Pastor: But we have a record. We have the Bible. That gives us our historical Jesus.

Heretic sighs and moves on: Okay, do we want to put that Mary was a virgin? We read last week that "virgin" was perhaps mistranslated from the original text.

The Pastor: Of course she was a virgin. It's in the Bible.

Heretic again sighs.

The Islander, looking in his bible: And he grew up in Nazareth.

Heretic: Okay, remember that. We're going through chronologically. Anything else before he was born?

The Islander: See, right here, he grew up in Nazareth.

Heretic: Yes, yes, but right now, in our chronology, he isn't born yet. Okay, now his birth. What are we going to say about that?

The Pastor: What it says in the Bible.

Heretic: Yes, but it's only described in Luke and Matthew, and they have contradictions. For instance, in one, there's the shepherds, in the other, there's the wise men. So which are we going to choose?

Islander: Both of them. They happened at different times.

Heretic: Okay, well, where are we going to say he was born? In Nazareth or Bethlehem?

blank look

Heretic: Okay, I'm going to say Bethlehem, even though some historians doubt it, because in order to fulfill the Old Testament prophesy, Christ has to be born in Bethlehem.

Islander: Herod called to kill him.

Heretic: Okay. Now, Herod was only mentioned in one book. Do we choose to include that in our belief?

The Pastor: It's in the Bible.

Heretic: Ohhhhkay. So then where did Christ grow up?

Islander: Nazareth

Heretic: Okay, when did he move to Nazareth?

blank look

Heretic: We've said that we believe in the Herod story. If we accept that, then we have to accept that Jesus and his parents fled to Egypt.

blank look

Ugh.