Why I Live, or "The Time of My Life"

Why do I live?

Last week, I was at a UU summer conference with a few hundred of my bestest friends.  Gentle Giant, a member of my home church, proposed that we have an impromptu “Deep Listening” covenant group while there.  We did, and it was wonderful.  Want one every time, from now on.  Such a smart guy.

Anyway, I was the de facto facilitator of the group, and charged with coming up with each day’s question.  I unapologetically cribbed from my uusalon partner, Earthbound Spirit, and presented this month’s question – Why Do You Live?

For a while, the group answered in fairly predictable ways – for our kids, because existence is what we do, etc.

At some point, however, the conversation changed.  We put it more in the context of the movie clip – life and death.  If you were in that situation, where someone kept trying to kill you, would you live?  Why?

We realized that right now, each of us in the group is in a position to simply live because living itself is so wonderful, so delicious.  Of course we live.

We veered into more serious avenues, such as being in a Jewish concentration camp.  One person admitted he would grab the electrified fence and not live.  (This is why it’s good to be in a Deep Listening group.  In a regular discussion group, I would have interrupted, “No, I don’t think you would.”  Because I know him.  But what hubris to say I know him better than he does himself.)

Why do I live? 

I know what it is like to hurt so bad you would prefer death.  I know that feeling. 

Part of why I live is duty.  Because of those in my life now, because of those who went before me, I believe I have a duty, a duty to make the most of my life, a responsibility because “much is expected.”  Life has given me so many gifts, I owe it my life and labor.  I owe it to both to those whom I love and those whom I’ve never met.

Another part is that I love to be surprised, and am continually reminded that each day unfolds more surprises.  What will my life be like in a year?  I can only guess.

At its most basic, though, I feel that by being alive, I have already won the lottery.  Biologically, such a small chance that I, exactly the way I am, would be here. 

As happens so often, my thoughts lapse into the poetry of others.  I live because “I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.”  (R. Frost)

I live because “some of it’s magic, some of it’s tragic, but I had a good life all the way.” (J. Buffett)

Because “even (if) it all went wrong, I’ll stand before the Lord of Song, with nothing on my tongue but Halleluia.” (L. Cohen)

And “For what it's worth it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.” (B.J. Armstrong)

I live because I’ve had the time of my life.

And I keep having it.

UU Salon May: The Soul

“The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul.” -- Emerson

I have held four babies, seconds after being born, searched their faces, looked in their eyes, and am convinced that each arrived with a soul.

But first, I need to explain what I believe a soul is.

I believe a soul is effectively “on loan” for each human being. Emerson called it the Oversoul, process theology sees it as one encompassing event that has always been, yet is progressive and changeable in nature. From this oversoul, we each are given a part. We humans share in a giant pool of oxygen, it becomes one with us, yet it is still part of the oxygen that exists worldwide. Similarly, we each have a soul within us that becomes part of us, yet is still part of the great oversoul that unites us all.

It seems logical to me that our little part of the oversoul, now called “our soul,” develops in us, in the womb, in a natural way, just as our hearts, lungs, and brain develop. We are born with everything we need, we do not at 20 years suddenly sprout a new organ, so it seems to me that we are born with a soul.

But just like a brain, our soul at birth has a ways to grow. How we are loved, how we are challenged, how we learn to love and exist, all grow and strengthen our inherent soul. I have written about the soul being an organ, but perhaps it is more appropriate to describe it as a muscle. Never using it causes atrophy. Exercising it, through compassion, through working for others in this world, strengthens it. And to continue the metaphor, yes, it is possible to overtax one’s soul; when the balance between serving versus enjoying the gift of existence tilt so far into serving that one forgets the gift of being here, the soul is exhausted. It needs time to heal.

And it can. Our souls are wonderful, elastic things, that in most cases, with the right “medicine,” can heal. As ministers, we are doctors to the soul, prescribing exercise for those who need it, rest for those who need that, love and attention for all the souls. And right now, just as the vast majority of medicine is being done at home, by dads putting on bandaids, moms giving cough syrup, individuals offering an aspirin to a a friend, we each minister to each other. Life circumstances can damage a soul; deeply and lovingly listening to the person is our stethoscope. We listen for where the damage is located, applying compassion and offering a safe place to rest while the healing takes place.

But is the soul eternal? is another point of argument. For me, I say, yes. When we die, our bodies don’t cease to exist. They change form, they become one with the earth. So, too, our souls do not cease to exist. No longer in individual form, carried in our human container, they return to the oversoul. In most cases, it is a different soul that returns to the oversoul (well, really, it never left, just as the oxygen within my body is still part of earthly oxygen). But the portion of the soul carried within an individual has grown, and changed. And thus, it affects the rest of the oversoul, just as the person’s life on earth affected the lives of others, affecting who they became.

In this way, yes, I believe in an eternal soul, that takes residence in us before we are born, and continues to exist after our physical body dies.


UU Salon: May 2010, "What is a Soul?"