Friday, March 12, 2010

So, it's that time again

So ... life is good. Seminary is good. My parents come in town today. They haven't seen their grandkids since last July. Spoiling will ensue. Spring Break starts today. I'm planning for a wedding. (as an officiant. I'm not quite at Mother of the Bride stage yet.)

And ...

Scans are Monday. Early early.

4 months have gone by, and here we are again. By Tuesday, our lives could completely change again. God, it freaks me out just to write that. Is there a superstition that I shouldn't acknowledge it?

By Tuesday, we could be celebrating in a big way. Wood, salt ... really, where is the Letitia Baldridge Guide to Superstitions that Will Protect You Against Cancer when you need one?

Some things put me in a pretty good place. Three of the folks just a few months or a year ahead of us, on the same treatment protocol, came back recently with clear scans.

But I'm also carrying around some grief. Long time Wilms' friends, who have reached the end, no more treatment, and are figuring out how to meaningfully and lovingly navigate their children's last days. With one, I share When I breathe in, I breathe in peace; when I breathe out, I breathe out love. She thanks me, said it was just what she needed.

They teach me lessons I pray to my depths that I will never use.

Life is messy and all mixed up mashed together. "To Do" list for today includes 1) vacuum house, 2) Do SKSM reading, 3) Email bride/groom, 4) Find BFF-DRE's bday present, 5) cry.

So, I've blogged, shed a few tears. Time to go vacuum. Shoot, I forgot to put "eat lunch" on that list...

5 comments:

goodwolve said...

"eat lunch" that would be in the take care of yourself column of the list. Please do.

ms. kitty said...

I'm thinking of you, dear LE.

Elz said...

May God hold you, touch you, bless you tomorrow.

ogre said...

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, LE.

jbgrinch said...

been a while Ihave been dealing with alot of death lately, I was glad to read that the test came back NED, I continue to keep you all in my thoughts, At some point I will blog what has been happening I just cant now.