Choosing Bold Over Mild

... together we want to change the world for the better, and the best strategies for doing this are constantly evolving. We want to shake the foundations of social systems in order to make the world a fairer, kinder place where all people can enjoy their share of life's blessings and hopes. The end sounds mild enough, but getting there requires us to boldly confront the powers and the power brokers of the current world order.

The bolder a church's vision is with regard to the preceding, the more engaging and winsome that church becomes to the general public. The milder the vision expressed, the more that energy is diverted to fellowship, childcare, and building renovation, to entertainment activities, parties, and trips. The mild church is a religious Elk's Lodge except for about an hour a week, when we sit quietly in a room decorated to my grandmother's tastes and try to think (and even sing) nice thoughts about ... loving others. ... But the bold church is quite serious in its intent to change the world, within its range of influence...

I, personally, do not have much time for the Elk's Lodge or much time for a church whose primary purpose is camaraderie ... If I do belong to an organization with mild aspirations, I will be casual and sporadic in my attendance, volunteering, and giving. My energy will drift elsewhere. ...

Bold visions for changing the world will always win us partners who are ready to roll up their sleeves, and in such endeavors they and we together open up ourselves to the serendipitous discoveries and life changes that happen when we are sharing life with the poor and giving to make life better for others.

Rock my world in worship...Challenge me to join with you in changing the world. Be bold and you will win my undivided attention.

-- I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church, Paul Nixon

Sunday is Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day

Open doors await them

Homosexuality and religion have a complicated past, but some area churches hope to bridge that gap this Sunday

By JEANNIE KEVER HOUSTON CHRONICLE

Feb. 19, 2011, 7:29AM

Ebie Hussey's first reaction when her son announced that he is gay was to offer unconditional love.

Finding a new church was a close second.

"His first question was, 'Am I going to hell?' " Hussey said of that conversation with her son, Jaxn. "Mainstream Christianity and fundamental Christianity really pushes that homosexuality is a sin, and he had caught on to that."

Jaxn, now 15, knew his parents didn't think that. "But I had always heard people saying that kind of thing," he said.

In an effort to counter the message, almost two dozen Houston-area churches have designated Sunday as Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day. ... (continued)

The Lay Leaders Guide to Getting the Most from Your Guest Speakers

One of the things I get to do, and really love doing, is to preach at churches around my state. I adore it. I get to meet some of the coolest people you'll ever meet -- people in little pockets of the world, trying to make their little pocket a more loving, just, place.

My home church is one of those little pockets and has been mostly lay-led over my years there. I held the post of Worship Chair twice and between that and actually being the guest speaker, I've learned some things.

So, here, I offer you HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR GUEST SPEAKER. (Especially if your guest speaker is a UU seminarian, minister, religious professional or consultant.)

Before Sunday:

• Tell them everything that will happen that Sunday, from what time someone opens to the church, to the meetings before church, to the circle afterwards, to lunch, etc.
  
• In great detail, tell them everything that you would like them to do:
• Do you want them to lead the entire service, or just do the readings/sermon?
• Do you want them to do the chalice lighting ... offertory ... lead joys/sorrows?
  
• If you have something after the service you would like them to join, let them know ahead of time. Especially if you have a discussion of the sermon afterwards. In at least two churches, I've mingled, chatted wth people, gathered my stuff, and been walking out the door before someone says, "Oh, are you leaving? We're going to gather to talk about your sermon." Or, "Oh, we were hoping you'd join us for lunch." Well, if I've already pulled together my kids and my husband, it is at best awkward to then come back in, get everyone settled, etc. We often just say thanks, and continue on our way. I'd love to join you. Just let me know ahead of time.
  
• If your speaker is a minister or seminarian, let them know a little bit about your congregation, and any major things that are going on. We want to make our message more meaningful to you. Doing a project you're proud of?  Let us know so we can reference it and cheer you on. Is your congregation laid back about religious language or do they bristle at the word "God"? Let us know. We might not change anything, but we'll know what to expect.
  
• Have an established "normal" order of service but be willing to deviate from it.  First, let me know what is normal for your church. If they're accustomed to 2 hymns every Sunday, I'd rather do that than add in a third.  However, be flexible. If I really think that this particular service needs all three hymns, let's do it if it's feasible. 
  
  But again, do have a normal order of service. Don't give me a completely blank slate. Let me know what your "normal" is.

 Sunday:

• Meet your speaker a little before the service, and first give them a tour of your building. Ah, there's the bathrooms.
• Have a fresh cup of water for them in the podium and let them know it's fresh. 
• Go over the order of service, especially if you're doing it together.  Who'll introduce this hymn? Who'll light the chalice?
• Show them where they can leave their coat, briefcase, etc.
• Have a plan for afterwards -- do you walk them to the back so they can shake hands with parishioners? What about after that? Have someone who can escort them to coffee, introduce them to people, etc. Get the most out of them! 

Afterwards:

• Let them know any feedback you've heard. (Especially seminarians.) Now, if the cranky person who never likes anyone criticizes them, there's probably not a useful purpose in passing that on. But if 5+ people say "Oh, I liked him!" or "I couldn't really hear her," or even "They found you too ... (Christian, Atheist, Activist, Intellectual, etc.)" let us know.
• If they are someone who knows their way around worship, ask them for their feedback. What could you, as a church, do better? They probably visit quite a few other churches, which gives them a unique outsider's perspective. 

Edit: The BFF-DRE pointed out that these are good tips for all religious professionals. She's right. Mea Culpa.

"What do you know about Cancer?" Part II

So, The Husband is watching the Katy Perry video we talked about (see below) and is getting a little teary because of the cancer patient in the video. Little Wren doesn't know why.

"Oh yeah," she says. "He visited."

As ChaliceChick would say ...

*headdesk*

"What do you know about Cancer?"

Okay, right after talking about cancer, this conversation happens:

I'm in the car with LW and Bo Peep (5 and 8). We're listening to Katy Perry's Firework. Peep says that she's seen the video. Oh yeah, sez I, and it has a girl with cancer in it.

"Don't say that word!" commands LW, from the back seat.

"What word?" I ask, innocently.

"Cancer!" says LW.

"Why?"

"I HATE cancer," says LW.

"Me, too," I say.

"What do YOU know about cancer?" asks LW.

(Those who have been with me on this journey ... we'll now take 5 minutes to alternate laughing, crying, and being silent in gratitude that this moment could occur.)

"Excuse me?" I say.  Not defensively ... because I want to see what she has to say. She does have a different perspective than I.

She begins laughing, in that way that I love, where deep chuckles begin burbling out of her chest.

"Oh yeah," she says. "Your were with me the whole time," she says.

There are some moments that defy description. They are just there to be experienced. Take from it what you will.

(But ... those who have been there from the times she can't even remember ... iMinister, Philocrites, and all the rest ... I am, virtually, hugging you, and we are laughing together.  So many of us were with her the whole time. What do WE know about cancer?)

And on a personal note ...

LW, working in the garden

Elizabeth asked how everyone's doing.

Pretty fabulous, thanks for asking. All the kids, including Little Wren, are growing like weeds.

The kids stay busy with school, orchestra, band, etc. and are completely normal, in that they fuss, whine, love pizza, fight, love Glee, and hate cleaning their rooms. Okay, they all have an overwhelming love for steamed broccoli which I think is passing strange, but other than that, normal.

Sometimes, though, things will happen to remind me that they have been affected in their journeys through Cancer World. Like The Boy writing an amazingly insightful paper about Threnody, which Emerson wrote about his faith, lost and refound, after his son died.

For LW, it was just her reality. She told some boy friends (not boyfriends, she will hasten to tell you) that she was bald two years ago. Boys are quite impressed with that kind of thing.

I'm trying to get all my schoolin' done, and will have CPE this summer. The only advice anyone is willing to give me about that is, "Get sleep now."

Yikes.

And The Husband keeps on keeping on, occasionally doing something completely insane like getting up early on a freezing morning to fill my car tank with gas.

And that, my children, is what Real Love looks like.

Bring Your Gay Teen to Church

Back in October, I blogged about wanting to get the message out to parents to take their gay teen to a church where they would be welcomed and affirmed. A month later, some of us talked about that in our church. About what it could mean to be an LGBTQ teen in loving faith community. One where not only could they be themselves, but they could also be around all kinds of adults. One where they could see healthy, happy, LGBTQ adults. Videos are nice, but being able to witness that It Gets Better? Better.

In Houston, it's happening.  February 20.

Yes, Houston. So far, we've got 20 churches signed up, representing 8 different denominations + non-denominational.

I'm tickled purple.

Click on the logo. See the website. "Like" the Facebook page. Tell your friends. This year, Houston. Next year, the world.

Being Missionaries, or "What if ..."

I know exactly when I took the red pill.

I was in preaching class with one of my favorite professors and just chatting, he brought up the missional church movement. He explained that what they wanted to do was be missionaries, but rather than being missionaries in Africa or Central Europe, they wanted to be missionaries right in their own town.


And reality, as I had known it, crackled into a million pieces; my vision unfocused and I held on to the table for fear of falling off my chair and into a wormhole. He explained further and reality came back into focus, but a different reality than had been there before.

What if?

I profoundly believe in liberal religion in general, and Unitarian Universalism specifically. I believe the world would be a better place if we added a hundred, two hundred UU churches, all working on creating the Beloved Community. And creating the Beloved Community not within their church walls, but outside it, in their greater community. Doing guerrilla gardening and mentoring at the local elementary school, serving up a meal on Sunday for church members and the neighborhood. Focusing not on how many members in the church, but how many they serve.

What if?

Being a missionary, starting up a new church in the poorer part of town ... how is that more impossible than going to another country where you don't even speak the language, and learning a new culture, in order to better the people and save their souls?

I have a different opinion about saving souls. Mine is found in "Shalom," a word translated to mean "peace," but which is so much more. It is peace, rightness, and wholeness; it is both personal and communal.

What if?

What if you had a new church who knew from the get-go, that this would be their focus? That "church" was not where you met, "church" was who you are?

And what if these people were all willing to be missionaries?  All week long, in their own spheres of influence, they would pursue mission. At work, at the pub, on the softball field or Mommy and me group, they would actively try to spread their values, seeing themselves as missionaries. And would come together to work the mission field where their church was located.

And what if you had a large, established church, who decided that "missions" was not just something for fundamentalist Christians, but was instead a vital part of their mission, who supported sending a mission ... but rather than to Guatemala, to the other side of the railroad tracks?

And what if you focused on the indigenous culture in which you planted the mission, rather than trying to turn the "savages" into what goes for "UU Culture" these days?

What if.

God, Doubt, Authenticity, and Foolishness

There is a saying about "It is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

We nod sagely at that, not stopping to think ... Oh, then that means no one would talk. Or share ideas. And really, isn't that rooted in fear?

So I say, tish tosh to that, and prefer Emerson's words, "Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day."

In one of my seminary classes, the professor talked about the ambiguity in the Bible, and the fact that we must have humility in understanding that there is so much we can't understand. He was questioned by a student, wanting to know how this plays out in the life of a pastor.  "Well," the professor conceded, "There are some things that you'll learn in seminary that you won't share with your parishioners. They can't handle it."

If you are now envisioning Jack Nicholson, red-faced, "You can't handle the TRUTH!" ... well, you are not the only one.

But it made me think of some I know -- even ministers -- in UU churches, who hide parts of their spiritual lives -- daily prayer, communing with God, and what not. Would we say, "They're mostly Stage Fours. They can't handle it."?  When, of course, what we mean is, "I don't want someone to look at me and think my beliefs are ridiculous."

I think one problem that can arise, whether we are absolute doubters, absolute believers, or something in between or somewhere else, is when we hold any such belief toooo tightly. Doubt or belief, either can be squeezed so hard that to loosen our fingers would mean painful, crampy digits. We become more attached to protecting what we hold, rather than being authentic with our doubts, questions, and feelings we can't fully rationalize.

For several years now, I have been exploring my understandings of God, Spirit, and the like. I have had numinous experiences. These are cherished moments in my life.

But I remind myself to hold them loosely. Don't get too attached. And even those special moments, where I felt connected to something larger than myself, something I call God ... if you were to ask me, I would, with all humility and authenticity, say, "Yeah, but it also might just be my imagination."

And I don't feel it takes anything away by leaving that as one of the options for finding meaning. In the last Harry Potter book, he asks about an experience he had. "Was it real, or was it all in my mind?" The answer is that it can be both.

Unitarian Universalism is an agnostic religion. That doesn't mean "a polite way to say atheist."  One may give heartfelt prayers every day to God and equally be an agnostic.  We are the religion that has the humility to say, "I don't know."

To me, the model Unitarian Universalist humanist/Christian/pagan/etc. all say the same thing.  They say, "I believe X.  But I don't know that for sure."  What "X" means doesn't matter as much as, "But I don't know that for sure." But I don't know leaves room for discussion with others. But I don't know leaves room for what the person personally considers ridiculous. But I don't know leaves room for growth and revelation.

We loosen our grip, stretch our fingers. It hurts, at first. But the blood begins pumping, and soon, our fingers feel just fine.  Better, even.  If we want, we can reach out to other things now.

The Sabbath That Comes Once a Day

My Jewish friends taught me about Shabbat as being the holiday that comes once a week. Lately, I've been thinking about sleep as the sabbath that comes once a day.

What would it mean, to think of our nightly (or daily, depending on work hours) as holy?

I don't know if I appreciated it as much until the hospital days.  The hospital days ... or more precisely, the hospital nights ... were broken into 1 and a half hour increments.  Because of the chemo my daughter received, she had to be pumped full of liquids to protect her kidneys.  One and a half hours. That's how long she could go without the bathroom.  She was only 3, but she refused a diaper. So every one and a half hours, she'd stir, and I'd leap from my cot beside her, and somehow maneuver her and her IV pole into the bathroom.

But I digress.

I still sleep very lightly.  Whether it is because of those 6 months or entering my forties, I can't say.

Sleep ... oh, blessed sleep.  We cuddle down into our blankets, and hopefully, are able to take just a second to feel grateful.  We are safe, we are warm.  Best of all is when we are in our own homes.

Perhaps a spouse or a mate rustles next to us.  A hound dog or a kitty yawns, stretches, and curls closer, feeling utterly safe next to the heat of our body.

A nursing baby sighs, sliding off our breast and nestling close.  Or a young child crawls next to us in the middle of night, "I had a nightmare," she mumbles, before weaving herself under your chin, her knees pressed against your belly, an expanded version of herself as she used to curl in the womb.

Sleep.

If we truly considered it to be holy, a gift from God that comes once a day, how would we treat it?  Would we still push ourselves, doing laundry, watching tv, checking Facebook until, exhausted, we finally succumbed and poured ourselves into bed?

Or would we, instead, treat it as part of the divine hours.  A specific time -- 10:00, 11:00?  Where we began our nighttime discipline:  wash the face, brush the teeth, visit the toilet, say a prayer, close our eyes, join in our nighttime Sabbath?

I have known a time when sleep was a much needed vacation from reality.  Where I could, for a period of time, rest.  Body, mind. and soul.  Rest.

Isn't that what Sabbath means?

Being Missional, or, It's the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Fine.

I am passionate about the missional church movement and am often asked to explain exactly what "being missional" means.

IT MEANS THE END TO LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT.

Okay, that's a bit dramatic.

But in a way, that might be accurate. The Rev. Ron Robinson and I have agreed that it's like taking the Matrix's Red Pill.  Once you have your "red pill" moment, you can no longer see church in the same way. No matter how much you want to go back to the way you used to conceive of church, you can't. "After this, there is no turning back ..."

I'm not getting less dramatic, am I?

Well, maybe because I can't. Because once you start seeing church in this different way, it causes you to do crazy things like move across the country and start holding church in a bar.  Or move to a run-down, dangerous area and start doing church by feeding and clothing the poor.  Or become the kind of minister who says, "It's not how many people come to our church services, but how many people our churches serve!,"regularly sending out requests to borrow a pickup, so you can deliver donated furniture to a program for the homeless.

Being missional is a wholly other way of conceiving and doing church. Missional is not about having a pretty mission statement up on your wall.

In terms of what it looks like, forget mission statement and think missionaries.  Think of a part of town you know -- and it could be your own -- that needs help.  Real help, not just being supportive of their spiritual journeys.

Now imagine that you have been sent there to change their lives.  By arranging for the hungry to get nutritious food, for the lonely to have someone who feels they matter.  So, you find some other people who feel similarly called.  Every week, in your own spheres of influence, you and these people go out into the world and try to make your little corner of it into the Beloved Community, where your mission is nothing less than helping each person in the community to find wholeness. You, this group of Called people, are the Church.

The Church is part of the Beloved Community, but it is not, in itself, the Beloved Community.  The Beloved Community is what you are making.  Members of the Beloved Community may never attend a worship service, but they are served by the Church.

Once a week, you and the Church gather, to strengthen your souls.  You sing, you hear an empowering message, you share how you are each doing justice, extending kindness, and walking humbly with your God, however you understand it be.

Fortified, then, you say goodbye to each other, and each of you goes forth for the week ... to strengthen the world.

And as much as you love your fellow Church members, your relationship is not the mission.  The Church members themselves are not the mission.  Each of you knows that. The only item not expendable is The Mission. 

And yet, you discover that as you help bring your little corner of the earth to wholeness, that you yourself are becoming more whole. More the person you were meant to be.

A missionary.

Group Discernment and Superheroes

One of the advantages of my seminary is that it is interdenominational. My professor for Spirituality was an evangelical Friend, or Quaker.

I learned so many things from her, both from the class syllabus and from how she lives her life. One of the big things came at the end of the semester. It was one of those unplanned things. Being a Friend, she has great respect for the Spirit moving in amongst our days, and so she is flexible in letting it guide our discussions.

On this particular day, it led to her telling us the story of how she wound up at our seminary. Or specifically, the discernment process involved.

Friends place great value on communal discernment and there is a tremendous amount of trust and respect in these discernment meetings. Cutting and pasting from my notes:

The Role of Leadership
•    The leader finds a responsible place within the process, as part of the group
•    Leadership is one of the gifts given to the community
•    The community takes seriously the perspective, skills, and gifts of the leader
•    The leader listens to the community and to the voice of the Spirit through the community

The Voices of the Community
•    Each member plays a significant role
•    Communal discernment seeks to affirm the appropriate voice and contribution of each person, corresponding to each person’s giftedness and role within the community

Gift of discernment
•    Individual contributions that enable the group to discern well
•    Varieties of expression
     --- Seeing beyond the immediate (vision)
     --- Understanding the issues and facts (critical analysis but beyond rational analysis)
     --- Identifying the emotional dimension
     --- Sharing of wisdom and insight (sage)

Conditions for Communal Discernment
•    Common Purpose
•    Resolve to Decide Together
•    Mutual Regard and Acceptance
•    Clearly Framed Matter for Discernment
•    Good information and good research

Now. getting back to my professor's story:

She and her husband were pastors in another state. She received the invitation to teach at our seminary.  What to do?

She called for a "Meeting to Discern," with her Board and church leaders. They went through the Friends' process:

* Open Discussion (Threshing):  The person calling the meeting explains just the facts.  Then, all individuals in the meeting may express any and all concerns. Issues, concerns, fears of the members, perspectives, etc.  It's all open -- no need to pretend to have no selfish interest, we all do. Here is where it is honestly exposed, rather than being hidden away.

* Prayer and Silent Reflection (Meeting for Clearness): an extended time of listening prayer. This can be done in different ways. They broke into small groups.

* Discussion toward Resolution ("Sense of the Meeting"): Moderator asks for comments and observations that have arisen out of prayer. A “sense” may emerge that there is more agreement among the group than originally thought possible.

Describing the meeting, my professor explained that the whole purpose was to discern whether the move to the seminary was a genuine God-directed call. After the threshing part of the meeting, selfish concerns (including hers and her husband's) were put to the side. It wasn't even about "what is the best thing to do," it was all on "Is this a call from God?"

They discerned that yes, it was. She said she can't imagine making the decision without that meeting. Even when things haven't been perfect since then, she and her husband can look back on the meeting and say with confidence, "We believe this was a genuine call." The process worked.

I was touched, bewildered, and quite a bit in awe at the process.  "That must take a tremendous amount of trust, to put your life in the hands of others," I said. She looked me right in the eye and said, "Absolutely."

I have thought of this often since then, wondering how, and if it's possible, for this to be played out in a UU community.  Are the differences between UUs and Friends such that the process would be impossible?

UUs do not necessarily believe in "God," and those who do usually have different definitions of the term. Of those who believe in a force outside themselves, there is a smaller group that believe this force intervenes or can be accessed in any way.  So, how could you discern a "call from God" in such a group?  How would it need to be reframed?

And then there's the independence thing. We are often so fiercely independent. Is it possible to be that independent and still have such a high degree of trust in others?

Doug Muder writes about a generational difference in UU churches between those who are fiercely independent, and those looking for a mentor, a community, to support their superhero activities. Will younger UUs be more open to group discernment?

If we feel it is of value, it seems we have a great deal of work ahead. I don't know about you, but certain things in my notes jumped out at me, red underlined sentences that shout with disbelief, "Really???"


The community takes seriously the perspective, skills, and gifts of the leader.
Resolve to Decide Together
Mutual Regard and Acceptance

Part of me says, "No, that just wouldn't work in a UU setting. We're too different. Too independent. Too focused on self-sufficiency."

But it just won't leave me alone, this idea. I heard a story filled with humility, interdependence, and love. A story that said, "We don't have to each go it alone."

I guess I am one of those that Muder writes about.  I don't want to be an orphan. I want my Scooby gang.

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 25

Okay, so you know this song, but maybe not in this langugage and this version.

The Bruce Cockburn Christmas album is just so, so, terrific.  If I could, I'd buy copies and mail them to every one of you. Merry Christmas.

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 24

Children sleeping, snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling like bells in the distance
We were dreamers not so long ago
But one by one we all had to grow up
When it seems the magic's slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas day

Tonight, at midnight, after everyone else in my house has gone to bed, I'll sneak outside in the dark and the cold. Bare feet, probably.  In one hand, a leather strap with sleigh bells.  1, 2, 3, I'll shake them with a flourish, like the bells on Santa's sleigh.

Perhaps someone will hear them -- half asleep? -- and decide it was a dream.

I believe in Christmas magic.

And I believe in my power to make Christmas magic.

A very happy Christmas Eve to you.

Believe
Josh Groban

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 23

Okay.  You totally know this song. In fact, you're probably sick of it, it's so overplayed on the radio.

But overplayed doesn't mean bad.

Last December 23, The Husband and I looked at each other and faced something potentially devastating. Little Wren's eyes were crossing. The cancer might be back, and in her brain. We made the decision to not say anything to anyone until after Christmas.

Privately, we couldn't help the thought ... what if this is the last one with all of us?

I know that there are others out there, carrying fear through Christmas. Sometimes, it's just unavoidable. That's life.

If you must have fear this Christmas, I pray that it may turn out to be nothing significant, as ours did.

If it is significant, I pray that you may have people to support you and give you their strength when yours wearies.

But most of all, I hope you have a good one, without any fear.

And please God, may war be over.

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 22

Today's is for A. L., S. B., and others who are hurting.

Sometimes all you want for Christmas ... is for it to be over.  It magnifies every hurt. Can I just sleep through it, this year? you muse.

I love those churches that do a "Blue Christmas" service a few days before Christmas. Sometimes, misery does love company.

Even when we're not having a sad Christmas, even when things are happy, sometimes we need to shed a few tears.  A few tears for sad memories, a few tears acknowledging that there will be other Christmases that are not so merry.

Joni Mitchell wrote this song. There are lots of great versions (I really like the Robert Downey version, too), and I just found this one. It's simple, clean, sad, and lovely.

River
Allison Crowe

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 21

Most remakes of A Christmas Carol are pretty bad.  The latest, Christmas Cupid, completely stripped away any message of interdependence and responsibility to fellow man, making it a shallow show all about how a woman shouldn't just have a career, she should also love a hunky guy.  O the humanity. 

But Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol.  Ahhh.  A classic in its own right.

How can you not love the Cratchits?  Though poor, they “are cheerful because they cannot help it, and because they all love one another.” 

I don't know what razzleberry dressing is. I probably wouldn't like it.  But this song makes me giggle and feel happy inside.

May you have a Christmas more glorious than grand.

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 20

I like the real.

Even though my parents don't get drunk.  Well, Mama might get a wee bit tipsy with champagne, but only on Christmas Eve. And she still maintains her dignity.

But I'm pretty sure I have kinfolk in Harlingen, though I'm not exactly sure how we're related.

And football is often on during the holidays, except this year, since my 'Horns didn't make a bowl.

And someone always has to run to the convenience store for this or that. And then at least 5 voices add something to his list.

And I like margaritas.

And if you don't have some of these characters in your family ... well, your family just can't be very big.

Merry Christmas from the Family

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 19

I believe in Santa Claus, I know he exists, and I absolutely love it when I get to be Santa Claus.  It is a big rite of passage when our children are able to become "Level Two" Santas.  Deep crinkles appear between their eyebrows as they work their brains, trying to decide who they'll Santa and how.

You can, too.  Consider it a gift to yourself.  Be like my hero, Larry Stewart, and be someone's really secret Santa.  Take a bill -- a little more than you can afford -- and look for the right person.  Perhaps it's someone in the dollar store, trying to stretch their paycheck.  Or someone at the bus station.  Pretend to pick up something by them.  Hand them the bill and say, "I think you dropped something."  Give them a wink and a smile.  And disappear quickly.

Or something less dramatic.  An outrageously large tip to someone.  We usually stop by Sonic and pick up drinks for our trip driving around looking at Christmas lights.  A teenager working Dec. 23rd will be really happy for a $20 tip.  Or more.

You don't have to judge whether the person "deserves" it.  This is a gift for you.  You get to be Santa Claus.

Shake Hands with Santa Claus
Louis Prima

Great Holiday Songs You May Not Know - Day 18

Do you allow room for magic in your Christmas?

I believe in Christmas magic and can't be talked out of it.  I've seen too much evidence for it -- impossible snowfalls, things falling into place "just so" that long-for dreams can come true.

I love acapella music, especially at the holidays, and I think this is a wonderful combination of two songs.

Pure Imagination/White Christmas
The Blenders