tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7587459.post8508371068191485110..comments2023-12-05T04:20:37.460-06:00Comments on The Journey: Sex and KidsLizard Eaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04506056116023122414noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7587459.post-47187418279570791442007-03-28T11:18:00.000-05:002007-03-28T11:18:00.000-05:00We too have struggled with that dilema over the ye...We too have struggled with that dilema over the years and even after rising 3 kids, I'm not sure what the "right" answer is. What I do know is the "wrong" answer would have been to give in to things that we felt our children weren't emotionally and mentally ready to understand and deal with. Hence, no one stayed at our house unmarried. Yeah, we made a few people not happy with us, on the other hand, my kids didn't have sex until they were grown. Not married, but grown. Not my perfect scenario, but I can live with it.<BR/><BR/>I say stick to your guns. Your kids are going to know that people have sex without the benefit of marriage and someday they will make thier own choices. But in the meantime, you will be teaching them that despite what the rest of the world is doing, it's ok to set limits and do what you think is right.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15478617244191630796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7587459.post-80828685030554905942007-03-27T11:53:00.000-05:002007-03-27T11:53:00.000-05:00Hmmm. This is a hard one to deal with. On my sid...Hmmm. This is a hard one to deal with. On my side of the family, I am the only one still married. One sibling has been married and divorced twice, engaged two more times and now lives with a guy she says she'll never marry. We have visited her; she does not visit us. So, we have stayed in her house and I have given tacit approval to their status...but not very happy about it. Still, they are in a committed relationship (or so they say).<BR/><BR/>It has been touchy for me, as well. But now we watch television shows, me and my 11 and 13 year old girls, where people jump into and out of bed and/or relationships with each other, so it opens us up to lots of discussion.<BR/><BR/>Here's what I tell them without being overly finger-pointy about it: As the youngest child, I watched my siblings make a series of choices when they were young that really impacted the choices that I then ended up making. I also tell them that choosing to have sex is similar in many ways to all the other "adult" choices they will be presented with. And I tell them that my experience is that kids who try smoking, drinking, and sex before they are of a certain age tend to get stuck there forever. (Again, trying not to be too finger-pointy, like 'look at aunt so and so--is THAT what you want,' and yet, doing just that.)<BR/><BR/>All that said, you are the parents and, in this instance, you are the DECIDER! Break rules, or bend them. Tell aunty, "when you and John Doe have been living together for five years, then he can sleep over, til then, here's the number to Motel 6." They don't always like it. One sister is still not responding to me because I asked her not to send email's to my girls regarding our father's cancer and imagining it as cotten candy. But I'm the mama bear, the one around them all the time, the one who gets to say "No. That's not appropriate for my children."<BR/><BR/>Make it up as you go along. You know what you do and don't want your kids to see/hear/be exposed to. You're doing fine. In this instance, yes, there is a right and a wrong. And you get to decide. Go, you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com