Today, I will. Today is her birthday.
It was not so long ago that this seemed an impossible dream.
The night before her first surgery, we didn’t know if she would celebrate her
first birthday. When the cancer came back, right before her 3rd
birthday, we were so devastated, and no one knew if she would make it to her 4th
birthday.
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| Relay for Life 2012 Survivors' Lap |
Today, she is developmentally appropriate, if a little on
the small side. Her spirit more than makes up for that. She’s plucky, she’s
tough, she’s smart. She knows she is a survivor, though we try to make it not
central to her identity.
Though cancer is not ever-present in our lives or conversations
doesn’t mean it’s not there, coloring events. I took a picture of her today and
silently thought, “…and that’s what a two-time survivor looks like.” The normal
milestones have extra poignancy.
But not just for her. Her entire family survived her cancer.
Her siblings sacrificed, it affected who they are. When I watch her older
sister, The Princess, up on stage singing her first public solo, I am perhaps
slightly more emotional.
Or not. Maybe this is just normal emotional. This is, after
all, our normal. A few days ago, LW got in a fight with the boy next door. His
mama took care of it appropriately, fussing at her son and sending him over to
apologize. All normal stuff, except where he hit her was her abdomen. “Anywhere
but there!” her father and I groaned.
So, yes, it is ever-present in The Husband’s and my heads.
But it is just one detail among many, along with The Boy being obsessive about
not drinking after anyone else, and The Princess needing to be reminded about
her homework, and Bo Peep having soft dental enamel, so please don’t let her
eat lemons.
Life is good for all of us. I am about to have two teens in
the house, a terrifying thought. I have two ministerial internships which I
love. Husband’s good, kids are good,
Mama’s good.
I don’t like the phrase “What doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger” – I don’t feel it to be necessarily true.
But I do think that what doesn’t kill you often makes you
different. And if you look hard enough, some of that different might be good.
